The story of one high schooler trying to wade through all the petty drama, with the only way she knows how. Sarcasm. Note: All names have been changed for protection.

Monday, November 22, 2010

...And a happy freaking New Year!

Christmas is just around the corner! Hurry up and put your gift orders in! Don't know what to get?! NO PROBLEM! We have anything under the sun in our store! Get the giant inflatable Santa, it's the hottest yard decoration for the season! We have Rudolph too, who will also feed your kids and blow your pipes and hang your Christmas lights too! COME SHOP WITH THIS US THIS YEAR!!
No.
Look, I love Christmas as much as anyone. But the commercials make me want to go kick a puppy. (*I don't normally kick puppies. I have in fact NEVER kicked a puppy. There you go PETA.*) I'm even okay with the music playing in October. The commercials really get me. You know what I'm doing for my X-mas presents? Edible Play Dough. That's right, the stuff we all ate as kids is now actually eat-able. (Edible is a very confusing word. It sounds exactly like edible. What the gecko is with this English Language???) Stores should probably realize that a lot of people can't buy nice expensive things for their friends. For example, this is the example of on average how much money I spend on friends and family.
Y= number of years I've known you
X= the amount of money I'll spend on you

½Y x 4 = X
Please know that X is in cents. Okay, that may be cut in half this year.  Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is this. Stores for one, shouldn't have Christmas going decorations going up before Halloween. We went I think the night of Halloween to get cheap candy (who doesn't) and there they were! The employees were setting up the Christmas trees! I just stared at them for a while, looking in awe at the blatant disregard for the holy-ness that is Halloween. (See what I did there? Holy AND Halloween? Christmas AND Halloween. Oh yes.)
And those commercials! Sorry Fluffy  but if this continues for another month, you're going to be getting to know the wall very well. That's all I have to say on the matter.

Love,
Maddie-kins


P.S
If you were wondering about the "what the gecko" exclamation, it's because I am not a very good typer. I actually put in what the geck, for what the heck. Then I just went with it, and I ended up with what the gecko. Not a very interesting story, I know, but I thought it deserved more exclamation.
P.P.S.
If you're reading this, vote on my poll. I measure my true followers by that poll. I'm going to make an interesting one, I promise!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Hi there, are you in my English II H class?

If you are, go here:
CLICK MEEE!!!
And, since you're already here, you should read some of my stuff. I think its pretty good and worth a read.

~Maddie

P.S.
If you're not in my class, let me explain. I have to teach a grammar rule, and I have to do a quiz. And yes, I made these cookie/brownie bar things. They are rather delicious. And its really easy...tell me if you're a winner.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

From the view from your front yard, the new curtains look fabulous.

Today's question is: stalking. Is it okay? I'm not talking about literally trailing someone and stealing their mail and whatnot. No, facebook stalking is the craze nowadays. (See what I did there? I rhymed. I shouldn't be fined, my paper is lined, my drink is limed. ANYWAYS!) If you're old or don't have a facebook, here's what it is: going through a person's profile, looking at pictures, statuses, or anything they have ever put on the Internet. Basically by the end of the stalk, (if you do it right) you know everything about the person, without ever talking.
Sounds creepy when I put it that way, huh? So that's my question. Is it okay? It's not like the person will ever know. It's impossible to see who has looked at your page. You can't even see how many people were looking. It's interesting to know about other people, especially of they're a cool person. And maybe you're just curious. "Gee, what did *insert name here* do today?"
On the other side, it's just WEIRD. It's weirder the stalker is obvious out their habit/addiction, too. Scenario that's happened to me a lot:
STALKER: "What did you do this weekend?"
ME: "Well, I went to the mall with my-
STALKER: "I know. You bought a dress from Forever 21. (weird heavy breathing) I read it on facebook"
ME: "..."
And then I run away. If you are either one if these people, here's how to avoid it!
To the stalkers: STOP BEING A WEIRDO. GO MAKE SOME FRIENDS. AND STOP BREATHING HEAVILY.
To the "me"s: Stop putting such personal information on facebook, and don't add potential stalkers as friends. If you suspect a stalker, de-friend pronto.
So what do you think? Is it okay? Or is it worth the creepy-ness? Do you enjoy knowing everything about your friends? Do you not even care? I should make a poll, since you people obviously don't like th current one. (I've had over 900 views, and FIVE people vote. I'm saddened.) But I won't, I'm on my iPod. That's my dedication I guess! My hands are cramping. Anyways!

Love,
Maddie

P.S.
Pray for Abby. If you don't do the whole praying thing, it's okay. We don't judge here. Send her happy get-well-soon vibes.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

SO!! Here's my non-fiction piece.

Thank you guys for the help! It took me a full day to write. That's pathetic. But you know what's more pathetic? My entire Creative Writing class had pretty much nothing to say about it. Why you ask? Well, I have no idea. Sigh. I was wondering if you guys like it?


 My Fearful Five
                        The only reason people go to Canal Street in New York City is for cheap, illegal stuff. You can get anything there, if you have the cash. The street itself is cramped and grimy, and it smells of sweat, rotten Chinese food, and fear. It’s not pretty by any means, but I went for one thing and one thing only. Cheap stuff.
            Within my first hour, I bought D&G sunglasses for ten dollars. My mom bought a scarf, a watch, and a hat for $50. The locals all said to bargain with the vendors, and wait for the big boys: the Chinese men with cell phones to their ears, asking tourists if they want handbags. I guess we had it coming; we looked so out of place, so much like idiot tourists. My mom, grandma, and me are all loud, tall and blonde, which is the opposite of the locals in New York City. We eventually had one man approach us.
            “You want handbag? Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Prada handbag,” he whispered, without looking at our faces. To an outsider, the exchange looked unsuspicious. He said, “You follow me now.” Motioning with his hand to walk up the street, we waited a bit and walked after him. He kept his distance; staying about 30 feet ahead of us.
            After two blocks of trailing the guy, we stopped in front of a store. It looked no different than other cheap shops here, with shirts that looked like they were made for five cents. We walked in, and looked like we were very interested in one particular T-shirt. I glanced outside while my mom was turning the shirt inside out, inspecting the “beautiful craftsmanship”.  The man we had followed was outside the store front, talking in Chinese on his cell phone. A couple minutes later, two more men walked into the store. They passed us in absolute silence, and my family and I stared. A white shelving unit stretched from the floor to almost the ceiling, full of bargain trinkets. Because of that, I was surprised when the two short men lifted it up and moved it to the side. I was more surprised by what was behind the shelves. It was a dark opening, crudely cut out of the wall. The cavity was an endless abyss, where nothing would ever come out once inside. I was locked in place, my mother actually had to drag me in. As we approached, all I could think was I was going to die. My final moments were going to be on that hole.
            I have to be strong, I thought to myself. I can’t let my grandma and mom see that I’m scared. But I don’t want to die! Clearly, my guardians must be terrified too. I looked over, and they were perfectly at ease. That’s impossible. This is so sketchy, I thought. Maybe they were just acting.
            As soon as the three of us were inside that musty room, the shelves were slid back in place. A bright light suddenly appeared from the single light bulb strung from the ceiling. Then I could see what the shelves were hiding: purses! There were rows of them on the walls, some stacked up in the corner, and quite a few in some cardboard boxes. I’d never seen such a concentration of handbags before. My mother and grandma started moving around, looking at the various brands of purses. The tiny space didn’t allow for much comfort.  I grabbed the nearest purse, a grey Gucci bag, and held it out to the man. He spoke very little English, so he held up numbers on his fingers to show prices.
            “Fifty for…” he motioned towards the purse in my hands. By this time, my grandma had selected her tote, and was bargaining with the man. More than once, he had shush her. My grandma would be quiet for a bit, then get worked up over something, and start yelling. It was an endless cycle. All the while, my mother took her sweet time. She ,oh so delicately, grasped the precious satchel, turned it over once, then again, and tut-tut-tutted under her breath. I sent her mind-bullets, trying to tell her that we needed to leave. She didn’t pick up on my psychic powers, and kept procrastinating. I still stood motionless, I felt like jelly. It was like a scene out of Cops. At any minute, dozens of policemen were going to burst through the wall. If that happened, I would need a new pair of pants.
            My mother’s loud voice shook me out of my nightmare. “OKAY! I think I’ll go with this one! How much?” she asked, holding out a ruffled black and white purse. The man suddenly checked his watch, and made a very terrified face. He grabbed the three purses we had picked out, and shoved them into a dark plastic sack.
            “200 dollah for all?” he asked, looking very desperate. That’s when my mom stepped in.
            “I don’t think so. I’m thinking 100 dollars for all of them. If you don’t like that…” she chuckled under her breath. I had never seen my mother look so mysterious and wicked. The man realized my mom wasn’t kidding around, and nodded his head. My mother shelled out the cash, peeling back each bill carefully. After a few Chinese words from the man, a blinding light showered us from behind. The shelves had moved, and I could see the street from there. I had the sudden need to sprint to the safety of the street. I grabbed the garbage bag full of our goods and speed walked away. When I reached the sidewalk, I breathed my first breath of fresh air. We must’ve been in the abyss for a whole five minutes- the most terrifying five minutes of my life.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Help Wanted.

I'm desperate you guys. I have to write a whole nonfiction story by Thursday. I have two ideas that I could write about, and I'll give you the pros and cons of each.

1. An extremely entertaining and funny story about my illegal frowned upon by the law activities. Its about when I went to New York a couple weeks ago, and found myself in a drug-deal-like situation, all over a purse.
PROS: Its pretty hilarious. And in my creative writing class, every story can be fitted into one or more of the following categories:

  • The time they got hurt/they hurt themselves.
  • The time they were in Poms or Cheer and won something. Yay. 
  • The time someone in their family died.
Its not that these are bad, its just getting really old. Its really depressing too. I think my story would be more exciting, you know? Spice things up a little!
CONS: I've had a terrible past couple of days. I cried three times during school today. Then I go a C on my test. (I hate that class, just in general. I like the subject, not the class. Blah.) So I think making it really funny would be difficult right now. I need to be cheered up, desperately. I really want someone to come to my house and bring cookies and hang out. I wish people did that. I wish my parents would have some sympathy. I just don't know what to do. (That got really depressing, sorry. SORRY.)

2. A story about my experiences with bullying. Its really personal, and is still kind of happening.
PROS: That's what my teacher and class likes. They eat up the dramatic stuff. The story that everyone loved was about a girl and her anorexia. Granted, its not that bad. Its just not funny or light.
CONS: On any other day, I'd love to write the other story more. This one isn't anything I talk about. I think only my parents know the extent of it.

Help please. I have to decide basically tonight, and write tomorrow or Wednesday. If you text or call or facebook or comment on this, man, I will love you. Which one would you rather read? Which would you want me to post here, if any?

FINAL VERDICT:
People need to stop being fake in general. If you can't handle me when I'm having a terrible day, you do NOT get to talk to me when I'm normal. Someone did that today. Teachers need to stop putting 15 trick questions on their tests. Someone needs to kidnap me from my house. AND ALL OF YOU need to tell me, idea 1 or 2?

Love,
Maddie

P.S.
I love you.